Seeing the Good in an Imperfect Country (hakarat hatov)

Deep Dive

Feb 6

At the funeral of her son, Hersh, who had been brutally held hostage in Gaza for 331 days, Rachel Goldberg Polin opened her eulogy with a statement of gratitude. “...one thing I keep thinking about is how, out of all the mothers in the world, G-d chose to give Hersh to me. What must I have done in a past life to deserve such a beautiful gift?…. And I am so grateful to G-d, and I want to do hakarat hatov^1 and thank G-d right now, for giving me this magnificent present of my Hersh….” It was an unexpected moment. How could anyone, after enduring so much agony, find the spiritual strength to open such a uniquely painful funeral with gratitude? With those words, Rachel Goldberg Polin embodied the Jewish discipline and value of hakarat hatov, ‘recognizing the good.’ She modeled how to approach a complex, disappointing, and even agonizing world with an ability to still discern all that remains holy, good, and given.

The value of hakarat hatov is fundamental to being a Jew and to being a citizen of the United States. The renowned 20th Century rabbi and halachic authority, Moshe Feinstein, himself an immigrant to America, called on hakarat hatov to establish a special responsibility between Jews and their democratic country. In a letter he wrote in 1984, Rabbi Feinstein offers two attributes of Jewish gratitude, “recognizing the benefits afforded us” and “giving expression to our appreciation.” Goldberg Polin’s recent elevation of the value offers a third attribute: gratitude must exist alongside imperfection and even despair.

Before there was gratitude, there was ingratitude. When God calls out to Adam and Eve after they have eaten the forbidden fruit, Adam replies, “The woman you put by my side, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” Rashi reads Adam’s reaction as a demonstration of ingratitude. Adam diminishes the gifts of Eve, reducing her to a single act. Commentators even argue that it is Adam’s accusatory reaction, and not Eve’s decision to eat the fruit, that exiles them both from the Garden of Eden. The curses of ingratitude are passed down to the child Cain who, unlike his brother Abel, can only muster a serviceable offering to God. Ingratitude in the early chapters of Bereshit prompts exile and death.

The discipline of gratitude is acquired in future generations. Leah is married but not loved. Her husband Jacob is tricked into the marriage. God, seeing that “Leah was unloved,” fills her womb with children. The first three children's names reflect Leah’s pain. There is Reuben, “God has seen my affliction;” Simeon, God “heard that I was unloved and has given me this one also;” and Levi, where Leah pleads, “This time my husband will become attached to me.” Leah’s sons are blessings in themselves but they do not transform the relationship between Jacob and Leah. Leah is never loved in the way that she desires by her husband. It is not until the fourth son, whom she names Judah, “I will praise” that Leah’s outlook begins to transform. Rabbi Shai Held explains, “With the birth of Judah, Leah has discovered the awesome capacity to feel grateful even amid her sorrows… Leah is the first person to feel and express gratitude even and especially amid profound sorrow and enduring disappointment.”^2 From Leah, we learn hakarat hatov – we learn that praise can, and even must, exist under all conditions.

Leah discovered gratitude in the miracle of new life, but the discipline of hakarat hatov evolved to center not on the new but on the good that is present but rarely acknowledged. In the 19th Century Mussar movement, which focused on the cultivation of character and good actions, hakarat hatov emerged as a daily practice of discerning, recognizing, and sometimes unveiling the many wonders that are given. A contemporary inheritor of Mussar, Rabbi Alan Morinis in Everyday Holiness, writes, “Practicing gratitude means being fully aware of the good that is already yours.” It is not a discipline of acquiring and then being grateful; rather it is a discipline of seeing all that is already bestowed. This attribute is reflected in a story about the famous 19th century Rabbi, the Chofetz Chaim. A young man asks the Chofetz Chaim, “Rebbe, I see you are davening (praying) a long Shemoneh Esrei (the central prayer in services), What great kavanos (intentions) do you have? I’d like to have some of those kavanos (intentions) too.” The Chofetz Chaim replies, “I just try to have in my mind the simple meaning of the brachos (blessings)… But when I get to the bracha of Modin (thanks), and I think of everything Hakadosh Boruch Hu (God) has done for me, it just takes a long time to say thank you.” Hakarat hatov is more than a sentiment, it is a careful, even time consuming, account of all that God has provided.

This careful accounting, however, is only one part of hakarat hatov. Rabbi Ari Schwarzberg, a colleague in the American Jewish Civics Seminar, explains that the root of the word, or the shoresh, of gratitude or thanks, is lehodot, which is connected to the word admit, or modim. “To give thanks” Rabbi Schwarzberg teaches “is a way of admitting to another person that your life would not be the same without them.” Hakarat hatov is not only something that takes place internally, within the mind, but rather a value that requires expression and even action. It declares gratitude for the sake of the speaker and the receiver, whether that is God, another person or even, in the case of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, one’s country.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein was born in Belorussia and escaped to the United States in 1937 at the age of 41, where he became one of the most important halachic authorities of the late 20th and early 21st centuries. On October 3rd, 1984, Rabbi Feinstein penned a letter to reiterate the Jewish responsibility to vote. He wrote:

On reaching the shores of the United States, Jews found a safe haven. The rights guaranteed by the United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights have allowed us the freedom to practice our religion without interference and to live in this republic in safety. A fundamental principle of Judaism is hakaras hatov -- recognizing benefits afforded us and giving expression to our appreciation. Therefore, it is incumbent upon each Jewish citizen to participate in the democratic system which guards the freedoms we enjoy. The most fundamental responsibility of each individual is to register and to vote. Therefore, I urge all members of the Jewish community to fulfill their obligations by registering as soon as possible, and by voting. By this, we can express our appreciation and contribute to the continued security of our community.

Rabbi Feinstein offered more than an approach to civic duty. It demonstrated a way to directly connect Jewish values with Jewish civic practice. While his letter is explicitly about voting, it inspires ways hakarat hatov can be cultivated and expressed. For example, to practice civic hakarat hatov, citizens can spend an entire day writing down every “benefit afforded” by the government. One might include clean water, safe milk, roads, traffic signs, teachers, parks, and garbage disposal. Feinstein’s definition of hakarat hatov, which emphasizes “recognizing benefits afforded us” and “giving expression to our appreciation,” would then prompt the citizen to consider how he or she might show appreciation for those goods. In 1977, Mierle Laderman Ukeles became the artist in residence at the New York Department of Sanitation. After years of cultivating an approach to creativity that would honor invisible forms of care and maintenance, Ukeles launched the “Touch Sanitation” performance, where she shook the hand of every one of the 8,500 sanitation workers in New York City.

Ingratitude, the Torah teaches us, can be an eviscerating act, obscuring all the good and rendering the blessings of the world invisible. In direct contrast, gratitude is a creative act that focuses renewed attention on previously invisible goods, inspiring a cycle of appreciative words and actions. The discipline of gratitude liberates practitioners from the emotional discomfort of assuming that acknowledging goodness betrays the reality of injustice and agony. Hakarat hatov makes it a responsibility to see and express goodness in an imperfect country and an imperfect world.

Study Texts

2. Excerpts from Rachel Goldberg Polin’s eulogy for her son Hersh, at his funeral in Jerusalem, September 2, 2024

And one thing I keep thinking about is how out of all the mothers in the world, G-d chose to give Hersh to me. What must I have done in a past life to deserve such a beautiful gift? It must have been glorious....I am honest. And I say, it is not that Hersh was perfect. But, he was the perfect son for me. And I am so grateful to G-d, and I want to do hakarat hatov and thank G-d right now, for giving me this magnificent present of my Hersh…. For 23 years I was privileged to have this most stunning treasure, to be Hersh’s Mama. I’ll take it and say thank you. I just wish it had been for longer.

Study Question:

How does hearing Rachel Goldberg Polin’s expression of gratitude make you feel?

2. Bereshit 29:31-35

(לא) וַיַּ֤רְא יהוה כִּֽי־שְׂנוּאָ֣ה לֵאָ֔ה וַיִּפְתַּ֖ח אֶת־רַחְמָ֑הּ וְרָחֵ֖ל עֲקָרָֽה׃ (לב) וַתַּ֤הַר לֵאָה֙ וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּ֔ן וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ רְאוּבֵ֑ן כִּ֣י אָֽמְרָ֗ כִּֽי־רָאָ֤ה יהוה בְּעׇנְיִ֔י כִּ֥י עַתָּ֖ה יֶאֱהָבַ֥נִי אִישִֽׁי׃ (לג) וַתַּ֣הַר עוֹד֮ וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּן֒ וַתֹּ֗אמֶר כִּֽי־שָׁמַ֤ע יהוה כִּֽי־שְׂנוּאָ֣ה אָנֹ֔כִי וַיִּתֶּן־לִ֖י גַּם־אֶת־זֶ֑ה וַתִּקְרָ֥א שְׁמ֖וֹ שִׁמְעֽוֹן׃ (לד) וַתַּ֣הַר עוֹד֮ וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּן֒ וַתֹּ֗אמֶר עַתָּ֤ה הַפַּ֙עַם֙ יִלָּוֶ֤ה אִישִׁי֙ אֵלַ֔י כִּֽי־יָלַ֥דְתִּי ל֖וֹ שְׁלֹשָׁ֣ה בָנִ֑ים עַל־כֵּ֥ן קָרָֽא־שְׁמ֖וֹ לֵוִֽי׃ (לה) וַתַּ֨הַר ע֜וֹד וַתֵּ֣לֶד בֵּ֗ן וַתֹּ֙אמֶר֙ הַפַּ֙עַם֙ אוֹדֶ֣ה אֶת־יהוה עַל־כֵּ֛ן קָרְאָ֥ה שְׁמ֖וֹ יְהוּדָ֑ה וַֽתַּעֲמֹ֖ד מִלֶּֽדֶת׃
(31) Seeing that Leah was unloved, יהוה opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. (32) Leah conceived and bore a son, and named him Reuben; for she declared, “It means: ‘יהוה has seen my affliction’; it also means: ‘Now my husband will love me.’” (33) She conceived again and bore a son, and declared, “This is because יהוה heard that I was unloved and has given me this one also”; so she named him Simeon. (34) Again she conceived and bore a son and declared, “This time my husband will become attached to me, for I have borne him three sons.” Therefore he was named Levi. (35) She conceived again and bore a son, and declared, “This time I will praise יהוה.” Therefore she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.

Study Questions:

What do you think changed for Leah between her first and fourth sons? How would you describe this change?
Can you think of a time in your own life where experiencing gratitude altered your perspective?

3. Alan Morinis, Everyday Holiness

The Hebrew term for gratitude is hakarat hatov, which means, literally, recognizing the good? The good is already there. Practicing gratitude means being fully aware of the good that is already yours.

Study Question:

Take five minutes and try to write down ten to fifteen good things you usually take for granted or ignore. How does the world look different to you after the exercise?

4. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein Letter, October 3, 1984

On reaching the shores of the United States, Jews found a safe haven. The rights guaranteed by the United States Constitution and the Bill of Rights have allowed us the freedom to practice our religion without interference and to live in this republic in safety. A fundamental principle of Judaism is hakaras hatov -- recognizing benefits afforded us and giving expression to our appreciation. Therefore, it is incumbent upon each Jewish citizen to participate in the democratic system which guards the freedoms we enjoy. The most fundamental responsibility of each individual is to register and to vote. Therefore, I urge all members of the Jewish community to fulfill their obligations by registering as soon as possible, and by voting. By this, we can express our appreciation and contribute to the continued security of our community.

Study Question:

Take five minutes and try to write down 10-15 good things that the government provides for you. Choose one item on your list and try to think of a way you could express your gratitude.

5. Gallery of Mierle Laderman Ukeles, Touch Sanitation performance

https://feldmangallery.com/exhibition/096-touch-sanitation-ukeles-9-9-10-5-1984

Study Questions: